Here's how the conversation will go.

Do I have them?


Can I make them?


What's the deal?

Brass is out of this world expensive right now.

The stock I'd need to buy to make ONE set of grips is $200 to $300.

If you're interested in solid brass grips.

If you're rich.

If you want grips heavier than the gun itself (probably), e-mail me.

Okay, I'm listening.

I will require prepayment. I will most likely require cash, check or money order.

That's dumb.

Understood. That's the deal. Send me a chunk of brass if you don't like it (seriously, please do (I need 5" x 9" x .625")).

There will be a delay while I order the material.

There will be a delay while I machine the stock.

There will be a delay when I have a heart attack while machining the stock.

As far as I know, the first buyer will be the only person in the world with solid brass grips on a Crosman gun. At least until my competitors steal YET ANOTHER one of my ideas.

That's not dumb.

No kidding.

Will you be the most specialist boy in the world with the flashiest bling of all time?


Yes, you will.

My mom already says I'm the most specialist boy.

Your mom doesn't have solid brass grips.

I need metal and I need it NOW.

Check out Solid Aluminum Grips. Not nearly as expensive, but definitely as awesome.

I'm a steel man, myself.

Stainless Steel is the same story as brass. E-mail me.

You're not funny.

The voices in my head say I am.